that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
