my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
