i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
