i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
