Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
