At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize