After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
