If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize