I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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