What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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