i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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