omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
