Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
