I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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