youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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