Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
