Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize