Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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