saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
