I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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