You just made me feel so damn special
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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