..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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