I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
