have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
