My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
handjob tips. give me some.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize
