I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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