Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize