I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
