But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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