Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
