I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
