I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
