every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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