smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
