Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
