I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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