Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
