I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
love makes seman taste better
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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