dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I think your dad took our porno
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
