party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
