I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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