please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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