Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Just fell off a train. Bad.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
This is the high leading the old right now
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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