is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize