I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
