Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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