Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
