what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
