THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
