my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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