Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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