She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
