She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
