I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Randomize