There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
