My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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