PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
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