nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
two words...techno handjob
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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