he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
