honey bunches of taint.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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