The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
