You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
