It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
