Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
