I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I didn't notice because vodka
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
