so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
