oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
