well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Randomize
