Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
