Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
