3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
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