I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
