I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
