I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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