i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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