Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
