My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
