Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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