During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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