So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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