He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
